To Label It.

  

I am the kind of person who usually seeks clarification first  before answering back, saying a comment, stating my opinion  or doing something that might affect someone. Some people however find this habit of mine very annoying. I have been unjustly described as  "difficult." "someone who complicates things, or someone who takes things very seriously." Just to give an example of what I am so that you can judge me accordingly, say  if you say something to me and I am not sure whether to take it as a joke or seriously,  I will ask so that I can respond accordingly, if a friend comes to me with a problem, I will also ask if they are just trying to vent or are seeking help from me.  This character flaw, ( I actually don't believe it is a flaw) makes me want to label things, relationships, or situations so that I act accordingly.

Just yesterday, I found myself fighting the urge to ask my work  colleague-Glowey, ( someone who i have allowed to get under my skin  over the past few months we have worked together)an "what are we?" question. I was dying to find out if we had moved past colleagues and acquaintances to "friends". Well, I stopped myself before I could even open my mouth because I was scared of appearing obsessive or needy. So, my question is, should we label friendships? If so, then how important is it for friendships or other relationships to be labeled?

I guess, friendships and other relationships can be likened to work or business contracts, except in this case, the contract is  sort of imaginary. We just assume that everyone knows their expectations, boundaries, benefits, and more. Just to clarify, I could think of you as a friend and behave towards you the way a friend is supposed to, but you might not consider me your friend, and obviously, you will not meet my expectations of how a friend is supposed to behave.

I know most people are scared of asking the big question "what are we" with the fear that they might scare away new acquaintances, or lovers. I am here to let you know that there is nothing wrong with seeking clarification. Actually, a lot of things can be avoided if people ask this question more to avoid setting up unrealistic expectations.

 -P.S I am not planning on asking her.

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